m&m's
by EOshipper2010
Summary: Parker/Eliot if you squint. "Oh, yeah! You never answered my first question. Why aren't you going to take me shopping ever again?" "Because you're like a two year old!""Is that a bad thing?" Some minor swearing. Epilogue's up - features sugar high Parker
1. Lessons Learned

**A/N: This is my first posted Leverage fic. I actually have another one that I'm in the middle of writing, but then I was randomly inspired by a bag of Easter m&m's that I begged my mom to buy from Sam's. So in case if that didn't clue you in, this is completely random...**

m&m's

"Stop that!" Parker froze mid-reach and turned her head to see Eliot glaring at her.

"Why do I have to stop?"

Eliot ran his hands through his hair and said, _"Because, _Parker, we're in a Sam's Club, trying to get food so the entire team doesn't starve to death, and _not _get into trouble for a change. You taking down one of every freaking thing you see is not working for us." Parker looked at him, not comprehending. Eliot looked like he wanted to pull his hair out. Leaving Parker behind, he started to walk away, while leaning on the shopping cart. "I'm _never _taking Parker to a grocery store again."

"Why not?" Asked a voice right next to his ear.

Eliot spun around and growled at Parker, "Do you have any idea how lucky you are I didn't just knock you out?"

"Did I scare you?" The blonde girl asked gleefully, not catching on that scaring Eliot probably wasn't the best idea in the world. Eliot glared at her and kept walking, and, unluckily for him, she remembered her original question. "Oh, yeah! You never answered my first question. Why aren't you going to take me shopping ever again?"

He shook his head. "Because you're like a two year old!"

"Is that a bad thing?"

Eliot snapped and rounded on her. "YES, Parker. That's a bad thing. You don't know how to stay out of trouble or keep your hands off of things or when to shut up or when you're annoying the _shit_ out of someone! You don't know how to act like a normal person. There. Is. Something. Wrong. With. You." After finishing his rant, he turned and leaned back on the cart and walked away, once again leaving Parker behind.

About a minute after walking off, he turned to look at his shopping companion who had been oddly quiet. However, when he looked he didn't see her anywhere. _Shit. _Eliot spun around, panic gripping him. Forget Nate and Hardison, _Sophie_ would murder him if something happened to Parker. The grifter had become very close friends with the thief, and he was supposed to be in charge of her. _Shit. I lost Parker. Sophie is going to kill me. _He turned around completely, hoping he just seemed to be looking for some aisle he had missed, when he saw her. Parker was still standing in the exact same spot that Eliot had left her in, staring straight ahead, eyes unfocused. He started walking towards her. _What the hell is she doing? _Eliot glanced around and saw that, other than him, no one was really paying attention to the weird blonde girl standing frozen with tears in her eyes. He nearly stopped in his tracks. She was crying. Parker _never _cried.

"Parker?" He whispered as he reached her, gripping her arm lightly. "Parker, what's wrong?"

She looked up at him and asked in a small voice, "Am I really that terrible?"

Eliot stared at her, completely shocked. "Wh- what?"

"You said I was like a two year old and that it was a bad thing and then you said all these really bad things about me and I want to know if you meant it." She blinked back more tears.

Eliot let go of Parker's arm as if burned.

He had made her cry.

Eliot swallowed hard. _Sophie is going to __**murder**__ me. _"Parker, I… You really are like that." He opened his mouth to continue, but she turned sharply and started to walk away. "Par-"

"You already got everything you need right?" She didn't give him time to answer. "Good. Let's go pay for the food then." He practically had to jog to keep up with her fast-clipped pace. So much for inconspicuous.

He managed to grab hold of her arm again, right before reaching the last two aisles. "Parker, stop. Look at me." She stubbornly turned her face away from him and put her chin in the air. He sighed at her, not letting go of her arm. "Yes, Parker, I meant what I said." He heard her sharp intake of breath. "But it's not a bad thing. Not for you, at least."

She turned to look at him. "What do you mean?"

Eliot smiled at her. "For you, that's normal. For other people… not so much."

Parker hung her head. "So I'm a freak." She said bluntly.

He stared at her and shook his head. "If you're a freak, then so are the rest of us."

She gave him a small smile for his effort at cheering her up. "Let's go pay for all of this. I'm hungry and I thought this food was supposed to make sure the team _didn't_ starve."

Eliot chuckled at her. "Parker, you are normal." She sent him a quizzical look. "You admit you're a freak; that's normal. Saying you're normal is what makes you a freak."

She stared at him a second before bursting out laughing and saying, "You realize that makes absolutely no sense, right?" He nodded smiling.

Finally, they began moving towards the checkout lanes, and Parker was just a little bit behind Eliot when he saw her hand automatically shoot out to grab something before she stopped herself hanging her head in disappointment. Eliot sighed and turned around. "Show me what you found."

Parker's entire face lit up as she ran over to the end of the last aisle and came running back to Eliot, bag in hand. "Look at this! It's so cute, isn't it? They're Easter colored m&m's! They have light pink, light blue, light purple, light yellow, and light green! Isn't that awesome?! Oh, my God! Look! Some of the m&m's have little bunny, chick, or sheep faces made around the m's! Can we get it? Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease?" She looked up at Eliot with great hope in her eyes.

"You realize that bag has 56oz of chocolate in it, right?" She nodded still holding up the pastel colored bag, not seeing what his point was. "You don't need that much chocolate, Parker. You're already crazy enough."

She looked heartbroken. "But it has sheepies…"

Eliot shifted his weight guiltily. He had made her cry earlier. The _least _he could do was buy her the m&m's, right? After all, how bad could Parker on a sugar high be? Eliot shuddered at the thought, but nodded anyways. "Put it in the cart."

Parker's face lit up again. "Oh, my God! Thankyouthankyouthankyou!"

Eliot laughed and decided he had made the right choice. At least now Sophie wouldn't kill him.

…

Nate might though…

**A/N I hope you liked it! I'm posting it as finished, but I am going to add a random little epilogue type thing eventually. I'm a terrible updater though so I don't know when I'll get around to it.**

**Please review!**

**EOshipper2010**


	2. Love Me Dead

**A/N: Sorry for the delay, guys! This is actually the first thing I'm posting in over a year though. I hope you all like it!**

**

* * *

**

"What's this?"

"What's what, Hardison?" Nate asked turning the corner into his living room.

"This empty bad. What is it?"

"Ah. Well, that's…" Nate trailed off and a confused look crossed his face. Sophie looked up from the script she was reading as she walked into the room and, upon seeing the bag, looked puzzled as well. Eliot walked in next, saw what they were staring at and promptly turned on his heel to walk back out. "Wait a minute, Eliot."

The hitter swore under his breath. "Yeah, Nate?"

"I'm guessing you can tell us what this is?" Eliot looked at the bag that Nate was gesturing at and shrugged. "Eliot?"

"It's an empty bag."

Sophie rolled her eyes. "Yes. We knew _that_. We, however, are more concerned with where it came from."

Eliot shrugged again. "It used to hold m&m's." He paused, obviously uncomfortable. "Parker must have ate them all."

Hardison choked on his orange soda. "And then what? She got bored and thought, 'hmm, let's see if I can make this bag WHITE!' That is not cool, man."

"Damn it, Hardison! How the hell was I sup-"

Nate cut in. "When did you get the bag?"

Eliot's eyes shot to the floor. "When we went to Sam's."

The grifter narrowed her eyes. "Do you mean to tell me that you let Parker eat all of that chocolate_ in less than three hours_?"

Eliot hung his head while Hardison's eyes widened. "Oh, hell no. You gave Parker, Parker of all people, a bag full of chocolate?"

"I have my reasons."

Sophie glared at him as if she knew and asked in a dangerously sweet voice, "What are the reasons then?"

Nate just shook his head and poured himself a drink while Eliot gulped. The hitter opened his mouth to give some sort of reply, but was saved... sort of... by the blonde thief herself.

"Son of a-" Hardison began trying to mop at the soda that now covered his shirt, Sophie shook her head, Nate hovered above his chair, and Eliot cringed.

"Parker," Nate said using the same tone one might use with a temperamental two-year old, "Please come out of the ceiling."

Blonde hair tumbled out of the ceiling wildly from a newly created hole. She turned her face down and looked at the plaster and other bits of ceiling that now lay below her before looking back at her audience, blue eyes overly bright. "Idontwannacomedown. Imhavingfun." Sophie blinked while Nate and Hardison glared at Eliot who just stared at Parker.

"You're fixing that." Nate pointed at Eliot then Parker's new little hang out, and then downed half his drink.

"Parker, sweetheart, come on now..." Sophie said using a reasoning tone.

"Nooooo! I have to hide my sheep!"

"WHAT?" Three voices yelped at once. The hitter just groaned. Parker watched all of them.

Incredulous, Hardison stuttered, "D-did magically get a sheep up there? _Please_ tell me you don't have sheep up there." She stared at him as Sophie walked over to Nate, stole his glass, and downed the rest of his drink herself. "Oh, dear Lord. What are you? Hermione Granger?" Parker stuck her tongue out. "Girl, get out of the ceiling."

"NEVER!" With that sentiment, she began shimmying back out of sight when, "NOOOOOOOOOO! SHEEPIES!" Parker's hands quickly re-appeared followed by most of the upper half of her body, but not before a ziplock bag fell from above. It hit the ground, split, and it's contents scattered everywhere.

The other four team members stared at each other in shock. They heard frantic moving above them and looked up, but all was suddenly silent. They glanced at each other nervously.

Sophie smiled grimly. "It's like waiting for the other shoe to drop, isn't it?"

Nate nodded. "Yes, and all very dramatic."

Hardison carefully picked up one of the scattered pieces from the bag.

"What is it?" Questioned Sophie curiously. After all, with Parker, one never knows.

"It's an m&m..." The hacker replied slowly as he turned the light blue candy over in his hand. "Ha! They turned the 'm' into a sheep!" He grabbed some m&ms that were near him, looked at them all, and laughed. "Parker must have gone through the whole damn bag and picked out all of the sheep." He laughed once more before popping the handful of candy into his mouth.

"NO!" They heard running and turned in time to see Parker tackle Hardison to the ground.

"Parker!" Scolded Sophie. The small blonde girl ignored her and pinned the Hacker's hands above his head while she sat on his stomach. "Parker! Let him alone!:

"You. Ate. My. Sheep." Parker snarled. "You. Will. Pay."

"All right, darlin'. That's enough of that." Eliot walked carefully over and picked Parker up completely. There was a moment of confusion where the thief tried to escape and it looked like she was attempting to climb on top of Eliot's head, but his strength quickly won over and she was more or less pinned. "Now what?"

"Well," Nate said slowly, "I think that since you're the one who got her all hyped up, you get to stay here. Alone. With Parker. And fix my ceiling. Sophie, Hardison, shall we?" The three were gone within a minute leaving Eliot with a pouting thief.

He sat her down on the couch. "I'll buy you two more bags of m&ms if you help me fix the ceiling and clean up. I'll even help you plot revenge against Hardison for eating your sheep." Parker looked up quickly. "Deal?"

"Deal."

* * *

When the rest of the team got back a few hours later, the place was spotless and the ceiling looking as if there had never been a gaping hole. Everything seemed to be in place. The only things missing were the two that had been left behind.

"Their loss." Hardison stated as he booted up his laptop. "They're the ones that won't get to see..."

"Won't get to see what, Hardison?"

"Sheep..."

"What?"

"My background. WHY IS MY BACKGROUND A PICTURE OF EVIL DEMON SHEEP!"

"Well, no need to get all worked up. Can't you just change it?" Sophie inquired as she sat down on the couch as well.

"Yeah, yeah. Change it back." The hacker muttered to himself as he started typing, but, with every keystroke, a baa-ing sound erupted from his speakers. He continued on for about a minute before, "FINE! I ADMIT DEFEAT, PARKER! YOU WIN!" With that, he stormed out, muttering about never being able to eat a lamb chop again.

* * *

Parker and Eliot laughed as they watched the hacker's dramatic exit from Nate's apartment. The hitter took a sip from his beer as Parker popped a few m&ms in her mouth. "Good job screwing with his laptop and setting up the bug so we could watch from my place."

Parker smiled and offered him some chocolate which he happily accepted. He could get used to this. He was about to say something more to her when she walked off. "Where are you going?"

"To jump off the roof!"

"Parker!" He grabbed her arm and managed to stop her in front of his closet. "You can'r jump from the roof. You don't have any of your gear." She stared at him. "You'd die." She kept staring. "I'm not about to let that happen." Still not saying anything, she reached into his closet and pulled out a hanger that had what appeared to be all the equipment she would need to go for a quick dive.

_How the hell did she-_

"Now can I go?" He released her arm, confused. She started to walk away, but hesitated and doubled-back real quick and kissed his cheek. "I'm glad you don't want me dead." She stated before running for the stairs.

* * *

**A/N: I still can't figure out if I like the ending or not, but I hope you liked it.**

**Please review!**

**~EOshipper2010**


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